In John 3 we have the story of Jesus interaction with Nicodemas and is John 4 the story of the woman at the well. It is interesting to compare the differences and similarities in these two stories.
Eugene Peterson goes into detail about this in his book Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places.
Their Differences
Nic was a man and the woman at the well a woman, Nic from the city while the WATW was from the country, Nic came at night and the woman at the well was found during the day, Nic was an insider and WATW an outsider, Nic a professional and the WATW a lay person, Nic was a person of respect and the WATW a disreputable woman, Nic was orthodox and the WATW was a heretic, Nic took initiative with Jesus going to Him while the WATW took none , Nic was named and the WATW remains anonymous.
What they had in Common
They both encountered Jesus, they both had "spirit" conversations with Jesus. Jesus is the primary figure in both scenes. Nic and the WATW provide the occasion but Jesus directs the content.
Other interesting portions of this story
Nic risks his reputation to go and see Jesus, Jesus risks his reputation to speak to a Samaritan woman.
So it doesn't matter who starts the conversation, they key is it ends with Jesus.
Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places by Eugene Peterson, p.18,19
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